A Householder Yogi’s Free Will

If life is a train, then we possess the free will to move either towards the front, where the driver resides, or towards the back. However, we cannot stop moving entirely, as the train of life is always in motion.

Moving towards the front symbolizes “approaching God,” while moving towards the back signifies “moving away from God.”

This limited free will is all we truly have because of lifetimes of transgressing divine laws, despite the immense store of prana (energy) stored within our spinal chakras and the base of the spine as Kundalini. Ideally, this energy should enable us to manifest our desires freely, but instead, we are bound by the Laws of Karma.

A yogi learns to liberate this energy, making it available to exercise free will in more profound ways. However, this process begins with small, deliberate steps to use the limited free will we have to move towards God.

For a householder, even taking these small steps is fraught with challenges. Obstacles such as the demands of earning a livelihood, family duties, and exhaustion after fulfilling daily obligations often prevent one from utilizing the grace of free will to move closer to God.

Yet, those who overcome these backward-pulling forces are richly rewarded with ever-increasing peace, calmness, joy, and a meaningful life. Although the journey towards God is not easy, it is the only true exercise of free will we have—everything else is governed by pre-determined karma.

A householder yogi must therefore develop a clear understanding of which decisions draw him closer to God and which lead him away. Every choice and priority must be weighed against the question: “What is my Dharma?” This is rarely an easy choice.

The Challenges of a Householder Yogi

Here are some of the dilemmas a householder yogi might face:

Sunday Satsang vs. Family Time: Should I attend Satsang as a devotee or spend the day with my family as a responsible spouse and parent?

Caring for a Sick Child vs. Seva: Should I fulfill my duty as a father or prioritize my commitment as a disciple?

Relatives vs. Spiritual Commitments: Should I spend time with visiting relatives or attend Satsang and fulfill my seva responsibilities?

Rest vs. Discipline: Should I prioritize much-needed relaxation or my duties as a disciple? This becomes even more complex when family obligations conflict with spiritual responsibilities.

Ego Conflicts: Should I let personal differences with a fellow devotee deter me from fulfilling my duties to my Guru?

Balancing Family and Spiritual Life: Should I prioritize family obligations before dedicating time to my Guru, rationalizing that “at least I meditate”?

Taking Responsibility: “I can’t attend Satsang or do Seva because my family takes up all my time. If the Guru truly wants it, he should make it happen.”

This mindset reflects a reluctance to take personal responsibility for one’s spiritual growth. It places the onus on external circumstances or even the Guru, rather than recognizing that spiritual progress requires effort, commitment, and prioritization. True discipleship involves finding ways to balance family obligations while still honoring one’s spiritual duties, rather than waiting for the path to be made easy.

Such conflicts reveal the subtle pull of Maya, which often uses worldly duties and personal attachments to draw one away from the spiritual path.

The life of a householder yogi is filled with countless thoughts and decisions, each presenting an opportunity to exercise free will in alignment with the divine. To ensure one’s choices lead towards God, it is essential to reflect deeply: What is my Dharma? What is the state of my consciousness as I perform my duties? How do my choices influence my inner awareness? What is my attitude while undertaking these responsibilities?

The answers to these questions are rarely black-and-white. They are deeply individual and depend on one’s unique circumstances and spiritual understanding. However, certain spiritual laws of Dharma can serve as guiding principles. To access this guidance, one must cultivate detachment and complete surrender to God’s will. Without this surrender, decisions are often influenced by personal likes, dislikes, and lifetimes of ingrained samskaras (karma or mental tendencies). If one cannot remain impersonal and surrendered while seeking divine guidance in meditation, it is wise to consult those more advanced on the spiritual path.

Spiritual Laws of Dharma

Some foundational spiritual laws of Dharma that can guide one’s decisions include:

1. The Hierarchy of Dharma
When a lower Dharma conflicts with a higher Dharma, the lower Dharma ceases to be valid. Higher Dharma is the one that leads you closer to God and fosters spiritual growth. Dharma is both relative and individualistic, and discerning its nuances may require guidance from spiritually advanced individuals.

2. Right Attitude in Performing Duties
Every duty should be approached with the right consciousness, doing it as an offering to God. Joy, kindness, love, and peace should infuse all actions. For instance, if you must take your relatives out despite personal reluctance, treat them as if they were sent by God. Serve them with the attitude that they are God’s friends. This shift in perspective can transform a perceived burden into an act of joy and divine service.

3. Stay True to Your Dharma
It is better to fail at your own Dharma than succeed at someone else’s. Often, we may try to take over others’ responsibilities, thinking we can do better. However, this is an act of adharma (contrary to Dharma), as it disrupts the natural order. Similarly, attempting to impose our will on others or even engaging in gossip about their actions is another way of violating this principle. If a task truly belongs to you, the responsibility will naturally fall to you, and you will be answerable for it.

4. Embrace Duties to the Guru with Commitment
When a duty for the Guru arises, do not walk away, claiming it is too difficult or inconvenient. Such actions only strengthen the ego’s hold. For example, we often justify skipping spiritual practices, thinking we need extra rest or recreation after a busy week. Yet great yogis have shown unwavering commitment to their Dharma. Swami Kriyananda, for instance, would leave mid-dinner to perform his Kriyas and then return, demonstrating his dedication to the spiritual path.

5. The Purpose of Dharma
Dharma should ultimately lead to the cultivation of divine qualities such as kindness, love, joy, peace, and calmness. Any action or decision that fosters these qualities aligns with true Dharma.

The Reward of Perseverance

Despite these challenges, those who persevere and consistently choose to move towards God experience profound inner rewards. They find peace, joy, and purpose, making their lives a testament to the transformative power of spiritual discipline.

Ultimately, the path of a householder yogi requires constant discernment, courage, and the willingness to prioritize Dharma over convenience. It is not an easy journey, but it is the only one that leads to true freedom.